guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
