white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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