when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Actions speak louder than pants.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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