Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
