Moan for me like Helen Keller
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
