There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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