Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
