I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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