You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
