Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
In America we eat man semen.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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