I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
