I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
