I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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