I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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