yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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