Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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