you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
