Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
