You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
