We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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