the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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