there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
