i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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