Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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