I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
