I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She needs sedatives and a leash
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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