my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
