I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
