Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
should my penis look like a turkey
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
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Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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