I hate all girls vehemently.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
