I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
