And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
