when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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