Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
