your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize