So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
