So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
