Whod you bang
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
