i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
