people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
