nut hugger
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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