I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
