We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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