its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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