So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
