As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
