Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
