how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
