Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
we should paint friendship bongs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
