He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
