U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
