My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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