My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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