What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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