Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
