So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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