Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
