Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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